Hi there. It’s been a very long time since I’ve posted. So much has happened over these last two years that I haven’t known where to start. I’ll restart by summing up.
I’m unlearning at an astounding pace. It’s disorienting as hell. It frequently feels that way, too.
A primary cause is suffering and powerlessness. It’s brutal because they expose my failing mechanisms of control and coping, which leads to more suffering (dammit, I put those tacit mechanisms in place for a reason!). It’s also wonderful because hindsight proves these failings ultimately lead to life, life founded upon bedrock. Nonetheless I have tried (and try!) a million different ways to alter this death->life pattern. It doesn’t alter, or at least _stay_ altered.
Perhaps some day I will learn.
Coming back to the blog, I don’t have much to offer you. No finished products, no brilliant rational insights that will change your life or mine. Who am I, anyway? A fellow sojourner, that’s what.
What I can offer going forward are some of my open questions. Perhaps they’ll touch on some of your open questions and together we can stand in unknowing as Reality moves us forward as it wishes. I’ll offer some of my unlearnings. They will be half-baked, of course, being that I’m still baking. And finally, I’ll offer a view into the ephemeral mass of contradictions that I am. Perhaps that will aid you as you wrestle with your own contradictions.
To love and life. To grief and sorrow. To being who we are, together.